The Day My Kids Went Missing

*My kids are home and OK
**An adult NEVER needs to ask a child for help.

After dinner my kids wanted to play in the cul-de-sac with the neighbors and I've been letting them play until 6pm each night, when it starts to get dark. I decided to bathe the baby early and asked Aria (age 7) to take the dogs out before they got into playing.

I heard the kids yelling and laughing and it sounded like it was coming from behind the house so I peeked out the bathroom door to the back porch and saw my son (age 9) and the next door boy (age 11) run by. I heard someone shout dog. Crap not again! Suddenly I heard both of my dogs bark, whew, they were inside. I grabbed up the baby, we were done, and took her to the living room to get a diaper on her. My neighbor taps on the door. "Where are the kids?!"

My dogs are barking, the baby isnt dressed, I tried to shoo her into my house, she said she needed to find the kids. I shut the door, pulled off my socks, and ran out the door with half naked baby on my hip (not in a carrier).

In front of my house is a white sedan with a man sitting in it. I dont recognize him, honestly I dont look really well bc my kids are not in my yard or playing basketball and I dont hear them. My neighbor is running back behind the house to the trail which connects neighborhoods to the schools, and is 26 miles in length with a tons of off shoots. We are 1/4th of a mile up the trail in record time, screaming for the kids. My neighbor doesnt have her phone on her, her husband isnt answering when I call back to their house, I dialed 9-1-1. We found Aria sitting on the trail. She "got tired and sat down"...   still 4 kids missing.

Dispatch asks if we need fire, police, or medical care. I tell her police. Then the rest of it comes out bumbled, I am sure. 5 kids were outside, someone is parked in front of my house, says they lost a dog, kids ran after it, we cant find kids, we dont know who owns the dog, kids have been missing 5-10 minutes. I spell our street, I give ages and descriptions and spellings of names. We have turned around, not going farther on the trail and come back. We are nearly home, now the sun is virtually gone. It was about 6:20 pm. We see 2 bodies standing on the trail down a ways, we think one of them is a kid. We start yelling for them to tell us which kid it is. The other one is an adult that I dont immediately recognize. I ask her "Who are you!?" And she says, "Are you kidding? You know me!" I actually dont, I have talked to her maybe 3 times and no clue what her name is, but she is a neighbor and the dog's owner. The kid with her was my neighbor's 11-year-old son.

The son tells us the others are in the front of the subdivision... I'm not sure how we missed them if they had gone the way we went but ended up past the area from where we came. We are running back between the houses and up the sidewalk to the front of the neighborhood. The other 7 year old kids dad was out and here comes my son and the other 9 year old.

9-1-1 confirms all the kids were found, we no longer need law enforcement, and hangs up. Then I butt dialed 9-1-1 and realized it and hung up. She called back for the hang-up and to confirm I was me and everything was still ok.

I dont remember all the mom-things we told the kids. We were out of breath, upset, verging on tears, and I was shaking.

I told them all, including dog-lady, that you do not run off with an adult missing their pet. An adult doesnt NEED the help of a child. The dog lady tried to tell us that she told them to go home. Even asking the 11-year-old "Didnt I tell you guys you didnt need to help?" I told her I was DONE talking to her and they could go on home, it is not normal to recruit children to run through the neighborhoods.

All three families took their kids home. We have a running text so that we always know where all of our kids are. I asked the other moms to talk to their kids individually, and sure enough, we all got the same stories.

The dog came out of the garage, in the cul-de-sac. An old man who lives there said, "Not sure how we are going to get him back in." The dog lady said something to the effect of: "Oh the kids can help." At some point she even offered to buy the 11-year-old something for helping. The dog and following children ran along the path that we ended up on, but they looped back while we were well up the trail. My son and the other 7-year-old were the only two with full energy to run the whole time. My son told the 7-year-old, as they were running back past her house, to go inside and get her dad. So when we found them, there was a trusted adult with them. When we were standing around arguing with dog lady, she told us she told them they didnt have to help get the dog... my son barely made it in the house when he told me she was lying. He was scared to say anything in front of her. That was fine, I told my kids that you NEVER have to confirm an adults lies and you dont even have to talk to them, they can talk to me and let me handle it.

Was there malicious intent? No.
Were the kids injured or scared? No.
Praise God that this was not that kind of event, but holy moly, it could have been.. then what? We were lucky.

You know what would have helped this entire situation? If dog lady had said, "ya know, I didnt think it through. It was a mistake to get them to help. I'm sorry you guys were worried." But instead, "Oh it was all the kids idea and when they started running, the pitbull ran too." But she didnt say any of helpful things, she was pretty nasty and understandably defensive.

I talked to my kids individually to get their full stories. I always do that. And it is amazing, but neither of them lie to us. We talked about how most kids that are abducted/stolen/kidnapped are taken by adults they know, adults they trust, or adults that are acquaintances.

The kids have a giant heart to have wanted to help out, but ABOVE ALL, please let us know where you are. I dont care if it was one of the other kids that ran off after the dog first, MY KID is to come to me and tell me or ask if he can help.

I was told this morning that I am dwelling and need to let it go. But if I let this go, then I have learned NOTHING. By letting the severity of this sink in, we all learn. I am thinking of all the "how could we have avoided this" "what do we do if this happens again" and "how do I protect my kids and help grow their independence"? We have talked to our kids and will continue. But maybe other kids dont know this and should - Adults NEVER need a child's help. It is not logical or reasonable to ask a child for help. If an adult needs actual help, they can ask an adult.


UPDATE: Dog lady went to neighbor's house that night and halfass apologized "I'm sorry, but the kids chased after the dog." She hasnt said jack to me.
ALSO: I checked my phone. I was on the phone with 9-1-1 for SEVEN+ minutes. That is a long call.

THE VIDEO - The kids learn our secret

Atlas took a few moments, but you can literally see the wheels turning and all the emotions rushing into him. Yes, he is bawling. Yes, he is happy. In fact, I'm not sure he has ever been happier.

I have the best kids! I have the best family.

*They were told before school on October 10th. #BestDayEver

The kids become biggers

When we got pregnant with Aria, Atlas helped me convince my husband of her name. Every night we said our prayers and included "God Bless Aria." And for an 18 month old to say this, it was adorable!!!!! Somehow we convinced Bob that if our first baby was saying this was her name, it must be her name.

Now both kids are SO BIG and they know what it means. They have friends who have babies living in their houses. Aria has no idea what it means to be a big sister, but Atlas has an idea ;) He's been a big for over 6 years and he is really really good at it! Aria is so nurturing and kind. I always thought she would be a great big.

But days after Aria was born we moved 8 states away. We left our birth team, our friends, my mommy group, our midwife. It never felt like the right time. We were living in Pittsburgh and by the time we had both kids walking in snow, I never wanted to go through babies/toddlers in snow again. That quadruples the work for any menial errand.

Almost a year ago we moved back to Orlando!! Guys, never say never! My mother used to tell me that I would eat my words. "We are never moving back to Florida" "We are never ever moving back to Orlando" "We are never having more kids" and here we are!!

The kids like to be super annoying and for the past 2 years their favorite annoying saying has been, "I want a baby!!!" The husband was like, "how about a dog?" and now they want both. I told Bob I want a baby first. Ok... so now we are having a baby and I fear the dog really does come next.

We really wanted to wait until closer to Halloween to announce that we were expanding. But I was expanding faster than I expected and at about 12 weeks we finally told the kids and then our family and friends.

The kids reaction deserves it's own post.

Surprise! We aren't surprised

Our #3 is currently cooking.

The first two have spent hours every day asking for a baby for the past few years. That never happened the first time around. In fact, I'm not sure Atlas really understood what was happening inside me until he watched Aria being born and that was a little scary and new to him, at 2. We can ask him to this day if he remembers.

What he remembers about Aria's birth: Mommy got in a tub and the dog barked and mommy got really loud. Then everyone crowded around and daddy picked me up. Then a baby came out of mommy.

He is suddenly 8 and a half and starting to ask questions about life. I looked at Bob, "This is it, this is where we turn little kids into real live humans."

For me, learning about the birds and bees was pretty traumatic and talking about it was off limits. I know it would be denied today, but when I was about 7 I chanted a little ditty around a neighborhood child who ran to my mom to tell her I used the word "penis" and I got my mouth washed out with a bar of soap even though I was asking the whole time what the word meant. 

When I first got pregnant with Atlas my girlfriends knew that I never used the "p" word. They would tease me and make me say it 3 times in a row every time we saw each other. The first time I cried (as an adult) but before he was born I was to the point of laughing.

SO, USING CORRECT WORDS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

I dont want my children to think their body, made by God, is in any bit shameful. It is not.

Here we go: the kids are 6 and 8, Mommy and Daddy got pregnant again, and there is a baby somehow growing in mommy's belly.

First things first, no. It is not in my belly. It is in my uterus. Only women have uterus.

Soon I will post about when we told the kids at 12 weeks. I was bumping too big to hide it anymore and they were the first to know.

That first night I showed the kids some videos of the baby growing inside a body. It's not unusual for all of us to watch videos of babies being born, but how did it get there? When Atlas saw the sperm unite with the egg he said, "Oh! So the daddy sperm happens when you kiss." Not exactly... guess we will get to that, but probably save all that for very last.

So here we go again!
Starting over, older, more patient, and we think we have this parent thing down!

We are having our third baby in the Spring of 2019!

Heimlich saved her life

I'm a pro. I don't want to be, but I am.

Heimlich. Learn it. If you have ever played with kids, babysat, birthed kids, seen kids in the park, if you know what a kid is... learn it. I have used it no less than 5 times.

Today was the worst one.

I don't let my kids eat in the car, much less candy. I can't turn around to get them if they start coughing without wrecking and killing us all, so no. When my 6 year old handed my 4 year old a hard peppermint on the way out of Vacation Bible School, he asked if they could eat it yet. I told them absolutely not in the car, but if they would wait until the water park, then they could eat it before getting into the water. No complaints at all. They know my rules. They have both also almost died from choking before. The first time was here... AWFUL! Since then we have choked on kale, hotdogs, and clover to name a few. The clover wasn't even my kid, but I snatched him up and somehow got it out. 

We are walking from one side of the water park to the other to get to the wave pool and I am dragging the little one along, trying to keep up with the big one and then the little one STOPS. I look at her and her eyes are drifting off and the hand I had been holding moves to her chest. I tried to get eye contact, but she just kept opening her mouth.

Then I stepped out of my body and watched myself ball up my fist and, since she is so tiny, I had her whole body weight pressing down on my fists while I bounced her especially hard onto my fists. Up and down a full 3 times. I have no idea when I realized what I was doing was actually me and not just me seeing myself do it... I just knew I was doing it... but I felt like I was watching myself. That image is strangely ingrained even though I know it was not a real image.

It felt like an eternity and I didn't know if I was doing it right or not. I just kept wondering why no one was running over to help. I had tunnel vision and I think the 6 year old was walking in circles around us. I looked up to see a table with 3 teenage girls watching... but no adults or (Heaven forbid) lifeguard rushing over.

I later asked my son and he said that no one looked over other than a little girl that was walking by.

I set my baby girl down and turned her towards me, she was still coughing and crying. Thank God she was crying... she was breathing. Cry away. We hugged. I figured it had gone past her windpipe. Then she started gagging again and coughing and I thought for sure it would get caught again. Instead she threw it up into her mouth and I almost lost it again. I reached for it and leaned her forward and then she spit it (and a lot of gunk) into my hand.

Of course the 6 year old old was like, "ew gross... do you see what she just did?" I threw it in the nearby trash and still no one stopped or looked or asked if everything was OK. I must have sat there hugging her for 5 minutes while she wept and tears drizzled down my cheek. I was shaky and suddenly drenched in sweat, but so happy that she was OK. I saved her life. What if I hadn't known what to do or where to press? I wouldn't be sitting right here typing, that is for sure.

This was taken after leaving the wavepool...
so about 45 minutes after nearly dying. 

Kids are terrifying. They are gross, stinky, mean, filter-less, manipulative, part-barbarian, narcissistic, and the most wonderful gift from God. Thanking God extra tonight. 

More resources you should watch and then save:
American Red Cross

Red Cross CPR PDF

How to do INFANT CPR
How to do ADULT CPR

How to do the Heimlich Maneuver on Adults 

How to do the Heimlich Maneuver for Infants and Toddlers

Disclaimer: I am not a life saver person. I have no qualifications other than my own life experiences. I am not endorsing anyone or claiming anything. Everything you learn should be from your own research and experience. Learn everything. And the FDA has not said that anything I have said will cure, treat, or prevent anything. All opinions are mine. 

My personal dōJOURNEY

 

Way back in 1979 my mom was over 4 weeks late (She says 5 weeks) to birth me, but when I was ready I shot out and the doctor had to run catch me. That is what I hear, I don't remember. Since then I have always dove head first into life. Sometimes a little too fast.

I am Heather Hazen. Bob and I got married in Orlando 6 years ago. Atlas was born at home in 2010. The midwife barely made it in time. His story is HERE. 27 months later Aria arrived. This time the midwife took me more seriously and came immediately. Aria was born after 2 or 3 pushes, this time we managed to actually get the pool set up. Her story is HERE. She was 2 weeks old when we packed up and moved to Pittsburgh.

I homebirth, babywear, don't vax, co-sleep, use elimination communication, tried to cloth diaper, did baby led weaning, nurse FOREVER or until the toddler tells me he or she is done, all the "crunchy" I can think of to try to stay healthy, so it was a natural progression for me to throw out all of our OTC medications and turn strictly to essential oils. I do believe there is a place for modern medicine and prescription drugs. I had thyroid cancer and now have no thyroid, there is not an oil for that, therefore I take a daily prescription. I am grateful for modern medicine when we truly need it!

Just over a year ago I started my dōJOURNEY into pure essential oils. Before then, I wondered why my humidifier melted each year... turns out my oils were destroying them. There are a few times that come to mind when I think of when I was "WOWed" by my oils. Being from Florida, ice and snow is not something I am used to living in. I had a slip and fall just outside my house while the family played inside. I can see it in slow motion, both feet, same time, flew out in front of me, I landed, banged my butt and barely missed banging my head. The phone in my hand flew away and broke into 3 pieces. I muffled out a few "help me"s and couldn't yell loud enough to make a difference. I somehow found the strength to slowly hobble inside and face-plant the couch. My husband started using dōTERRA oils on me immediately and every 15 minutes. Within 2 hours I was able to walk. I was sore for probably a week. I could also tell you about the time my whole family had the flu for 48 hours... but that is boring, we sat on the couch and didn't move; we just oiled each other every 30 minutes. I think we watched Frozen 8 times.

I started sharing my dōTERRA oils before I knew I was sharing them. Within the first month of getting my kit, 2 of my friends heard that I was using them and both immediately signed up under me. I worried I would have to sound pitchy to sell the oils. I was wrong. I barely mentioned it and people start asking questions. I love to talk about them, so I will take the time to help give them any information they are looking for. I really love that if I ever have a question, I can ask one of my up-lines and get information immediately. I also LOVE calling dōTERRA's customer service! They are so friendly and knowledgeable. Every time I get off the phone with them, I wish I worked there.

In under a year my oils were paying for themselves. I am not a sales person kind of girl. We don't have any extra money, so assuming other people do is not happening. I have never encouraged any of the larger enrollment kits, but I have had several people pretty much demand that is the kit they are getting and they go on to do LRP each month. It's hard not to fall in love with your oils. It has been so easy to get my oils paid for that I hope one day it becomes a second income. But again... without being pushy. Look how word has spread so fast!! I have people asking every day! All I have to do is share and give them samples. The oils do all the work.

I am Heather Hazen. I am an Executive with dōTERRA. My Wellness Advocate # is 641187

Today I fell on my back, thanks snow covered ice. Pray please.

I had my first fall on ice. OMGGGGGGGGoodness I was in such pain that I laid in the snow (there was ice UNDER IT!!!) and just moaned and hoped someone anyone heard me. I was in my driveway. This happened at 4:09pm. I dont know how long I laid there on my back. Felt like 10 minutes. I got very cold.

I had a fight or flight moment and somehow managed to get up. I was in so much pain I didnt even cry. I thought I had broken my hip or my tailbone. Still not completely sure I havent. I got inside and was kept saying "Bob, I fell, I fell." over and over and over. He helped me to the couch where I fell on my face and laid there for almost 2 hours. We iced, we used Essential Oils, we iced, more E.O.s. Aria wanted to nurse and I about died trying to find a way to sit up. When Bob went to help me back to laying down I thought for sure my hip was broken. I have Spina Bifida Occulta (sounds awful, but 1/3rd of the world has it, you all just never find it without an injury... I broke a bone in my back at 12 years old in gymnastics) and Spondylolisthesis. THE LAST THING I NEED is to injure my lower back more. A few minutes ago I was able to get up and walk a little. I am feeling a bit better than I was just after it happened, so I am praying to God that I only bruised it.

We considered going to the ER, but we dont qualify for indigent and we are almost paycheck to paycheck right now.... oh and then there are the holidays were you are required to spend more money... and the gas to travel next week. ::headdesk:: I truly believe the EOs have been helping, but I am still in a fair amount of pain. My neighbor is a Physical Therapist and I texted him, he offered to come over tonight, but I went from paralysis to walking 7 steps and decided we would wait until tomorrow when we could actually have an "appointment" not just abuse our neighbor, if I needed to be seen.

PLEASE pray for me that this is just a deep bruise. I am not even concerned with not being able to jog for a while, and if you know me, you know how much I depend on my daily run. I just dont want to have hurt my back :'(

I also have that whole thyroid thing going on that I posted about in the facebook group... but really, this seriously trumps it right now.

Thanks In Advance for the prayers <3 span="">

First LLL meeting in Pittsburgh after our move

I went to LLL today.

Met the lady who I emailed with 3 months ago (yep checked the email date) she is one of the 3 leaders. She remembered me, which made me feel better... She was sweet and right around my age with a 4 and 2 year old who liked to rough house... she had her own issues of keeping them calm without loosing it... she was NOT like Jenn and just chilled out with her kids doing their thing. Might have had something to do with her boys screaming...

Atlas behaved mostly... it was neat to watch him. He was nervous. HE kept coming back to me and pointing to the kids he "WANTED" to play with and getting reassurance from me. YES!!! GO PLAY!

There is another little girl there born on Aria's birth date. Pretty little thing :) Her mom and I exchanged numbers and facebooks.

I feel so stupid... like had *I* not been the outgoing one... then I never would have met ANYONE!

The tandem meeting is 2 Tuesdays away. They corrected me an said it was mostly TODDLER nursing... There needs to be more clarification and Orlando needs a Tandem group STAT! (Cindy) Apparently it is kinda common... well in bubbles like ours.

I cried when I left, with 2 kids strapped on me, headed up a busy-ish in-town road up (the hill) to my car, which was parked in front of a town home (that was 3 stories tall and the lady coming out said the only parking rules were that street sweepers came on such and such day) .. and then realizing that the kid parked on the sidewalk went first, and luckily the road wasnt busy when #2 little went in... All I really have to say is thank God for GPS. really.

Life is an adventure and I am just holding on with eyes closed... except when a road is involved.

I dont think I want a 3rd kid. But I REALLY mourn pregnancy and birth.