Stop the rollercoaster, I need to throw up

I have seriously been back and forth all day long.

GET the cancer out!
What if it is not?
It's OK, it is a huge risk to keep it!
Others say POSTPONE!
I say, no freaking joke, there is NO going back.

I threw up this morning. Between tears and frustrations eating was a very bad idea. I sent my husband a text message - I'm calling it off. I even cried through church.

I found solace in a blog about an hour ago. She was going through the same thing. she was only 2-3 years older than me. but she didnt have a tiny baby to worry about. the RAI is the worst part I am imagining.

THEN I get an email from a founder of a yahoo group... My FIL said to "join a support group" ... BACKFIRE .... one girl .. no no MANY girls say to postpone!

Brain is fried. more tomorrow.