Sunday, January 9, 2011

Going Home

Silly me to plan things.

Best Plan - Bob gets Atlas ready and playing with him so that he isn't upset or overly excited that Bob is back and then I enter through the front door and Atlas is excited to see me and takes his first steps to get to me so fast. All on camera, of course.

Worst Plan - My child doesn't even want to see me

Reality - We set it up for me to come through the front door, but when Atlas saw me he clung to his daddy. It took him a while to come around and smile at me. Then he wanted to play with the ugly bulgy glued up slit on my neck. (They even said they glued it) Within 10 minutes he realized I was the boob and grabbed onto me and nursed and just stared at me.

I hadn't had any pain meds since 10pm the night before (the lactation nurse called back to tell me that the Lortab would be OK regardless, but everyone here gave me the evil eye for even considering it) and the antibiotics are OK if they happen to cross the milk. Don't worry I checked EVERYTHING out. (repeat - evil eye)

I dont know if my calcium has stayed up or not, I know that I got home at 1pm and by 5pm I was back in bed and didn't even blink until after 7:30pm. I assume my BP is in normal range for me... somewhere around 90/60. Again, don't know and I plan on going back to bed here fairly soon.

Bob is putting the baby down. I kinda like this routine they are working on. So far he has laid him down twice, and the baby wants back up now. Bob is good. It has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to jump into someone else's schedules and try to find a way to make it work for you.

Before I went into the hospital Atlas bopped me hard on the nose, I thought he broke it then I was playing with him and he threw his car into my eye and I had a huge purple goosebump pop up above my eyeball.... it is finally going down. The night before THAT I scalded myself while sterilizing bottle parts. It's been a rough weekend.

Making bail or busting out of this joint

I sorta had the option to stay the second night. I was already here (past the 23 hour mark) and I was still feeling lousy and scared and they were still monitoring me quite often. I also had this intense fear of going home and having this wonderful baby rush into my arms and hug him tight, but not be able to do anything with him. I cant lift him and I dont want him pulling on me.

Atlas has been a  trooper. Thank God for my MIL staying with him. I also thank God that my mother stayed with me. There is nothing like your mom taking care of you, even if you are being poked and prodded by a nurse. Atlas is sucking down bottles like he has been starving to death I hear. He is also eating a lot! I am so happy. I have been so worried about him.

I picture coming home and like a puppy dog he runs into my arms.. yes, my baby who is still only cruising RUNS into my arms and squeezes my [very sore] neck. I can't wait to see him. I hope he isn't mad at me.

Also big prayers continuing for Wednesday we find out if they got all of the thyroid tissue. If they did then I may not have to have RAI. If there is any thyroid tissue and cells left over, the way they track them down and kill them is through the RAI. They are also suggesting if I need the RAI, I will need it a whole lot sooner than they originally told me.

The endo had said I could wait 3 months until my baby was 1. They are not saying that now. I wanted to nurse until my baby was 1. ACTUALLY I wanted to nurse until my baby was 3 or weened on his own or I got pg and dried up, but alas, our plans are not our own.

A new step in my life happens today. And here I was happy with the ladder rung I had reached. I will keep you posted. Please keep praying.