Saturday, January 22, 2011

Started hormones today

I have been having night sweats for the past several nights. I didnt think much of it until a best-friend told me she was going through menopause and hadn't thought about the night sweats being a clue until her doctor mentioned it. Being on the pill it only happens while she is on the sugar pill. The doctor says it is the drop in hormones. I have been sitting on pins and needles knowing that my hormones were going to be "half-lifing" soon... when my gf told me about her night sweats I suddenly realized that the past few nights I had been waking up drenched also due to having apparently NO hormones in my entire body.

The radiation oncologist called me yesterday. My TSH (Thyroid hormone) was 31... above the 30 was expected. My Thyroidgloben (tuber [?] mark) was 26 which was a tiny bit high showing that the hormone was dropping a little faster than expected. 23 days is the average half life.

If they were going to do radiation on me then they would want to do it before starting me on hormones. The "escapee" thyroid cells (healthy or not, doesnt matter) float around the body and I would need to be on a low-iodine diet so that when they gave me RadioAcitve Iodine those cells would be craving the iodine and would suck up the RAI and then die. However since my cancer was encapsulated like a grain of sand in a clam, I am at almost no risk. Since I am nursing he said he would second guess himself even if he recommended it and knew I would stop nursing. The cancer didnt spread, nothing escaped even with the fine needle biopsy which took 4 needles not the normal 3.

So I started taking Sythroid today. I am not sure if I am having reactions or not, but I have felt and acted differently.

I am vain. I can't deny it. I am obsessed with my size and energy level. I LOVE being skinny and in shape, my skin is not clear and that bothers me, I freak out when I gain 10 lbs, even if no one notices. I am human and media has corrupted me but I accept the fact that I ALLOWED and ACCEPT that.. thus screwing myself.

When I left the hospital after 2 night in the hospital on an almost totally liquid diet, I got home and weighed 114. Approximately 3 lbs lighter than my normal. I had spent the 4 days before the surgery doubling up on my daily jog. Where I would have jogged 4 miles,  I was doing the 4 miles twice a day. I wanted to build up muscle to aid in the healing. It DID help! I honor muscle, it heals! I weighed myself today after about 3 days of not weighing and was up to 128. I GET that that doesn't make me fat. Dont start. I am 5'8" or at least really close to it. We already covered my vanity. That is 14 lb increase in about as many days.

ALSO I started my Synthroid today which has made me feel like my blood-sugar was super duper low 2-3 times during the day. I am not sure if that is a side effect or if that means the pill is working and my body is actually craving calories.

Regardless I am excited about jogging again, starting Wednesday. That puts me just past 2.5 weeks that the dr gave me the go-ahead.

On a slightly different note, I had debilitating cramps today that didnt feel like gas. So hopefully this is my regular 7 lb period weight increase. I would LOVELOVELOVE to have my period back...

BUT... I have been advised not to get PG in the next 6 months... so much for tapping that maxed out insurance. They want to do the low level radiation for a "thyroid scan" in 6 months. I dont think I can go back to nursing my baby after radiation is pumped into me, no matter how little.... They say I can pump/dump... ehhh. that scares me.

I am trying to focus on getting my levels right... WITHOUT my help... so that when I do get back into my routine I am boosting it, rather then fighting FOR my levels and hoping the doctors get it right.

The whole thing sucks.

... And now back to Me

I have avoided the scale for the past few days. I started my Synthroid today... I also weighed - FOURTEEN pounds heavier than the day I came home from the hospital! Granted I was weighing about 3 lbs less than normal then... but 14?! Really?

Maybe I will be that one who gains 50 lbs in the first 6 months. I am disgusted with my body. I want my thyroid back. I am really just sickened.

Link I Like

Back to being a mommy for a moment - I liked this post on Peaceful Parenting