*My kids are home and OK
**An adult NEVER needs to ask a child for help.
After dinner my kids wanted to play in the cul-de-sac with the neighbors and I've been letting them play until 6pm each night, when it starts to get dark. I decided to bathe the baby early and asked Aria (age 7) to take the dogs out before they got into playing.
I heard the kids yelling and laughing and it sounded like it was coming from behind the house so I peeked out the bathroom door to the back porch and saw my son (age 9) and the next door boy (age 11) run by. I heard someone shout dog. Crap not again! Suddenly I heard both of my dogs bark, whew, they were inside. I grabbed up the baby, we were done, and took her to the living room to get a diaper on her. My neighbor taps on the door. "Where are the kids?!"
My dogs are barking, the baby isnt dressed, I tried to shoo her into my house, she said she needed to find the kids. I shut the door, pulled off my socks, and ran out the door with half naked baby on my hip (not in a carrier).
In front of my house is a white sedan with a man sitting in it. I dont recognize him, honestly I dont look really well bc my kids are not in my yard or playing basketball and I dont hear them. My neighbor is running back behind the house to the trail which connects neighborhoods to the schools, and is 26 miles in length with a tons of off shoots. We are 1/4th of a mile up the trail in record time, screaming for the kids. My neighbor doesnt have her phone on her, her husband isnt answering when I call back to their house, I dialed 9-1-1. We found Aria sitting on the trail. She "got tired and sat down"... still 4 kids missing.
Dispatch asks if we need fire, police, or medical care. I tell her police. Then the rest of it comes out bumbled, I am sure. 5 kids were outside, someone is parked in front of my house, says they lost a dog, kids ran after it, we cant find kids, we dont know who owns the dog, kids have been missing 5-10 minutes. I spell our street, I give ages and descriptions and spellings of names. We have turned around, not going farther on the trail and come back. We are nearly home, now the sun is virtually gone. It was about 6:20 pm. We see 2 bodies standing on the trail down a ways, we think one of them is a kid. We start yelling for them to tell us which kid it is. The other one is an adult that I dont immediately recognize. I ask her "Who are you!?" And she says, "Are you kidding? You know me!" I actually dont, I have talked to her maybe 3 times and no clue what her name is, but she is a neighbor and the dog's owner. The kid with her was my neighbor's 11-year-old son.
The son tells us the others are in the front of the subdivision... I'm not sure how we missed them if they had gone the way we went but ended up past the area from where we came. We are running back between the houses and up the sidewalk to the front of the neighborhood. The other 7 year old kids dad was out and here comes my son and the other 9 year old.
9-1-1 confirms all the kids were found, we no longer need law enforcement, and hangs up. Then I butt dialed 9-1-1 and realized it and hung up. She called back for the hang-up and to confirm I was me and everything was still ok.
I dont remember all the mom-things we told the kids. We were out of breath, upset, verging on tears, and I was shaking.
I told them all, including dog-lady, that you do not run off with an adult missing their pet. An adult doesnt NEED the help of a child. The dog lady tried to tell us that she told them to go home. Even asking the 11-year-old "Didnt I tell you guys you didnt need to help?" I told her I was DONE talking to her and they could go on home, it is not normal to recruit children to run through the neighborhoods.
All three families took their kids home. We have a running text so that we always know where all of our kids are. I asked the other moms to talk to their kids individually, and sure enough, we all got the same stories.
The dog came out of the garage, in the cul-de-sac. An old man who lives there said, "Not sure how we are going to get him back in." The dog lady said something to the effect of: "Oh the kids can help." At some point she even offered to buy the 11-year-old something for helping. The dog and following children ran along the path that we ended up on, but they looped back while we were well up the trail. My son and the other 7-year-old were the only two with full energy to run the whole time. My son told the 7-year-old, as they were running back past her house, to go inside and get her dad. So when we found them, there was a trusted adult with them. When we were standing around arguing with dog lady, she told us she told them they didnt have to help get the dog... my son barely made it in the house when he told me she was lying. He was scared to say anything in front of her. That was fine, I told my kids that you NEVER have to confirm an adults lies and you dont even have to talk to them, they can talk to me and let me handle it.
Was there malicious intent? No.
Were the kids injured or scared? No.
Praise God that this was not that kind of event, but holy moly, it could have been.. then what? We were lucky.
You know what would have helped this entire situation? If dog lady had said, "ya know, I didnt think it through. It was a mistake to get them to help. I'm sorry you guys were worried." But instead, "Oh it was all the kids idea and when they started running, the pitbull ran too." But she didnt say any of helpful things, she was pretty nasty and understandably defensive.
I talked to my kids individually to get their full stories. I always do that. And it is amazing, but neither of them lie to us. We talked about how most kids that are abducted/stolen/kidnapped are taken by adults they know, adults they trust, or adults that are acquaintances.
The kids have a giant heart to have wanted to help out, but ABOVE ALL, please let us know where you are. I dont care if it was one of the other kids that ran off after the dog first, MY KID is to come to me and tell me or ask if he can help.
I was told this morning that I am dwelling and need to let it go. But if I let this go, then I have learned NOTHING. By letting the severity of this sink in, we all learn. I am thinking of all the "how could we have avoided this" "what do we do if this happens again" and "how do I protect my kids and help grow their independence"? We have talked to our kids and will continue. But maybe other kids dont know this and should - Adults NEVER need a child's help. It is not logical or reasonable to ask a child for help. If an adult needs actual help, they can ask an adult.
UPDATE: Dog lady went to neighbor's house that night and halfass apologized "I'm sorry, but the kids chased after the dog." She hasnt said jack to me.
ALSO: I checked my phone. I was on the phone with 9-1-1 for SEVEN+ minutes. That is a long call.
Friday, January 17, 2020
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