Painting by Numbers

This was supposed to be my mommy blog. I guess it is now more of a blog on the struggles of my life as a mommy.

::pouting:: I thought the hard part was supposed to be waking up 3 times a night.

I'm sick of breaking down each day. Why doesn't crying and temper tantrums tire out a child like it does me?!

I had it certain that I was going to postpone. I was convinced.

I picked up all of my tests from the ENT dr today. Surprise! They left out, like, 5 pages when they gave me the results the first day... Apparently it still didnt matter. I took the results to my primary DO and she showed me my numbers:

Normal THS (Thyroid hormone) is anywhere from the range of 0.40-4.50 (with the higher number closer to HYPOthyroidism and the lesser being closer to HYPERthyroidism.) Mine was 0.64. Explains my size... Sure I didnt eat enough for too many years and I jog like it is an OCD issue, but apparently I will never get fat if they can get MY levels back to these with drugs... and everone's normal is different. The Endo called me and she says that since that is MY normal we will aim at the hyper side of the drugs. I cant imagine anyone askign to be on the HYPO side. Hypo makes you tired and weak and you gain weight by breathing the wrong direction.

the other level that was noted was my thyroids antibody abilities.... Anything less than 30 is great... mine was less than 10, which is super.

So I got in touch with the doctor too... there are 2 options. ALL or PART with the likelihood of all in the horizon. All is all is all. They CAN take just the left side that contains the freakish nodule and "freeze" the other side, rush a few slivers of the bad side down to pathology to be tested. IF cancer is discovered in one of those 3 samples then, OK alright, while I am still out they take the other side too. If it is NOT cancer, they leave the right side in. The FULL pathology results take about 3 days to return. There is a small possibility that it could still come back positive for cancer. In 22 years, my doctor has had that happen 6 times. If that happens, they go back in within 2 weeks (2 weeks bc the dr is too busy to go back in on that 4th day) and does a second surgery.

I am sure insurance covers it all... sure only 80%, there goes our savings for baby #2. However that would have to wait anyhow because if this IS cancer the RAI will delay any baby making for about a year.

I want to keep half of my thyroid... less drugs, more of my own hormones and metabolism working, etc.

My husband wants me to do the WHOLE thing. But there is only about a 20% chance it is cancer anyhow. Or was it a 20% chance they would have to go back in.. .I forget.

Brain is fried.

Next breakdown scheduled for 11am Tuesday (1/4/11) when I go to yet another doctor for another opinion. Updating tomorrow.